Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Hats

file under: impotent whining

I was at a concert on Friday night, I'm no shortarse, and all I could see for most of the night was mobile phones and hats. Young fashionable people: take your hats off in the auditorium, it's not cold, and the people behind you might want to see the fucking stage. If you think that a woolly hat is an expression of your individuality think again. It's the same expression of the same individuality as thousands of your carbon copy compatriots.

And another thing.

People who think you know some maths: Stop saying things like "Of course half of schools perform below the average" unless you understand the difference between the median, mean, and mode, or you know for sure that it's a symmetric distribution. Do you really think that only half of people have an above average number of arms?

And while we're at it.

Stop sending me a maths problem about three brothers at a restaurant where the change and the tip don't add up. It's not a maths problem, it's clever word-play. There is no revelation, and it's a chore working through the arithmetic with you.

And now I've started.

Vinegar before salt. That way the salt sticks to every chip, rather than running through and forming an aceto-sodium slurry at the bottom of the pile.

It’s Frankenstein’s MONSTER. Frankenstein was the good-looking successful urbane doctor.

People with colds: Blow your nose and stop sniffing. We don't want to listen to you playing a breath by breath game of keepy-up with a pool of mucous.

Bloggers with a tiny readership: If something annoys you, do something about it at the time, rather than publishing directionless passive aggressive rants about your personal betes noires.

Richard "calm down" B

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