Monday 28 March 2011

British Summer Time

I don't send children to school, my work doesn't rely on daylight, and the office is pretty flexible about what hours I work. For me Daylight Savings Time is nothing but puritanical bed-time police telling me that I'm getting up too late in the mornings, and going to be too late at night.

Richard "forgot to bring my sandwich" B

Monday 21 March 2011


Knut the polar bear, who was hand reared in the Berlin zoo after being rejected by his mother (and namesake to a stuffed polar bear that I won in a raffle) died this weekend. He was found dead, floating in a pool in his enclosure.

Richard "I blame Micheal Barrymore" B

Monday 14 March 2011

Plympton is going to rack and ruin

I went to a fundraising event at the local community centre, it was the middle of the day, there were loads of kids about, and I saw a really really nasty fight. Some poor woman was getting beaten up by her husband, and when a policeman tried to break it up, the man managed to grab his batton, knocked the policeman out with it, and then went back to beating his wife up. As if that wasn't bad enough, then a crocodile turned up and stole her sausages.

Richard "weekend rock-star" B

Monday 7 March 2011

2011 Lottery Emails Omnibus

Each week I send an email to members of the lottery syndicate. I sometimes include a joke or observation, and I usually assign myself a joke middle name. These are my names from 2011:

Tue 04/01/2011
I will send the new year's day results after I have set up a new spreadsheet for 2011. Good luck to us all.
Richard "excel" B

Tue 04/01/2011
Richard "back to work" B

Mon 10/01/2011
Richard "my bike's got front brakes again" B

Mon 17/01/2011
Richard "It was supposed to say 'The Kicks' above 'Puppet Show'" B

Mon 31/01/2011
Richard "stayed up past my bedtime" B

Mon 07/02/2011
Richard "pub quiz champions" B

Mon 07/03/2011
Richard "geriatric nurse" B