Monday 20 December 2021

Least Said

 I know that the youtube comments section is the cesspool of the internet. This weekend I was made aware of the story of "Rush E" and the comments section of somebody who tried to play it. It's a piece of music for piano that's so incredibly complex and intricate that it couldn't be played by a person. Somebody simplified it, re-arranged it, played it and uploaded their effort to youtube. While most people were impressed one troll was rude about it and denigrated the performance. Unlike the vast majority of trolls who criticise other people's efforts, when somebody called him out along the lines of "I'd like to see you do better" he did. A couple of weeks later the troll uploaded a better arrangement that he played absolutely incredibly.

It reminds me of  a time I got into an internet argument about how to tie shoelaces. I'm far too interested in shoelace knots, I collect them, and I think that a good proportion of people are tying their shoelaces wrong. I came across someone who claimed to have invented a new and better knot and who tried to name this new knot after himself. He was wrong and I told him so. There's a copy of the Ashley Book of Knots at my parents' house, I said I'd go round there, find out what the knot was called and prove that it was already known in the '40s. When I got round to my parents' house the internet knot wasn't in the book. To my shame I never replied to the messages and just dissolved into silence. He was right (probably) and I was wrong.

Richard "Ghost" B

Monday 6 December 2021

Morrisons 2

 Something else that amused me happened in the Morrisons supermarket. I was trying to buy pudding rice and I knew from their website that they sold it. I looked for it with the rice – it wasn't there. I looked for it with cake ingredients – it wasn't there. I found boudoir biscuits and ice-cream cones, but didn't see the pudding rice. I eventually asked a member of staff and he looked it up on a PDA. "short grain pudding rice?" he asked. "Yes, that's what I'm after". "That's a type of custard" he told me. Now I don't think it is, but when he lead me to custard we did find what I was looking for.

Richard "Failed Successfully" B

Morrisons 1

 I was at a Morrisons supermarket on Saturday. Amongst my small basket of shopping was a bottle of Champaign which had a security tag around its neck. The attendant assured me that I could use the self service checkout and that she would remove the security tag once I had paid. Morrisons was crowded, the queues were long and slow and everyone seemed to be in a bad mood. I found myself standing in uffish thought by the cigarette kiosk waiting for the security tag to be removed. A fellow shopper seemingly thought I was trying to jump the queue or that I was in the way and angrily told me "THE QUEUE STARTS UP THERE - LOVE". The timing of what happened next was perfect and made the shopper even angrier. Before I could apologise or explain what I was doing one of the employees appeared, handed my a bottle of champaign, politely wished me well, and then walked back to serve Mrs Angry.

Richard "Special Treatment" B