Tuesday, 6 March 2012

How am I coping?

Almost a decade ago I used to go out with a very nice young woman, beautiful, cheerful, friendly, fun, incongruously large breasts. Every month she would visit a theme park that I didn't understand, and spend a couple of days riding a terrifying emotional roller-coaster. Within seconds she would plunge from glee to misery, in moments she could travel from callous to tender, talkative to taciturn, argumentative to loving.

My dad died a couple of weeks ago and we had the funeral on Friday. People ask me how I'm doing, and the only honest answer I can really give is "up and down", I have a much better understanding of Redacted's roller-coaster. I was really proud during the service, and very very sad to see the hearse driving away with the coffin. At the wake I found myself surrounded by friends, family and pasties with a cold beer in my hand. When I caught myself enjoying it I felt quite guilty.

On Saturday night I played in my band in front of a lot of my family and friends, and I played well. I was really full of joy, and the audience drank and danced. It was a bizarre, yet strangely fitting end to a very poignant weekend.

Richard "up and down" B

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Eulogy - drb

J.A.H. Redacted
February 22 1920 February 18 2012
My Dad was a very modest man. He never took credit for the great things he was responsible for. When something worked out well as a result of his meticulous planning or skill, he preferred to give the credit to fate and say that we had been lucky.
A man of very simple pleasures, he enjoyed listening to Jazz music, the occasional glass of wine, a really hot curry and a cigar at Christmas. His real loves were his family and his boats.
Hard work, honesty and integrity were very important to him, not only did he live by these values, but expected it of those around him. Always an early riser, if anyone appeared for breakfast after 8 o’clock they were dismissed as having “missed the best part of the day”.
He was very intelligent and knowledgably and would amaze me at his breadth of understanding of an enormous range of subjects, from classical music, to ancient history, to foreign languages, to wine making, it seemed there was nothing he didn’t have some understanding of. In contrast, Dad was also very practical and enjoyed working with his hands, tinkering with electronics and his boats. Not many people would happily disassemble an expensive Swiss watch confident they could put it back together.
Dad was a very resourceful and determined man almost to the point of stubborn. If he could not mend something with what he had at hand, then it was either impossible to repair or so inferior that he would make something better himself. We used to joke that it only took one Redacted to change a light bulb, but the rest of the family to try and mend the broken one.
His preferred medium was the back of an envelope. Whether it was drawing a circuit diagram, designing a self-steering gear or writing a shopping list, if it couldn't be contained in the limited area of 3”x 8”, it was too complicated.
He was born in 1920 on the Isle of Wight in the Solent, the salt air and maritime environment must have got into his blood at an early age as boats and the sea were to become a huge part of his life. His father, John Redacted, died when he was 8 and he moved to Eastbourne on the Sussex coast with his mother, Mable. Dad went to school in Hasting’s making the 14 mile trip along the south coast by bicycle. At 16 he took his school certificate and started at Hartley-Turners as an apprentice working in the very early days of high quality sound reproduction, what would eventually be known as Hi-Fi. It was at about this time that he gained his HAM radio license; we think he was the youngest in the UK.
He served his country during the Second World War, joining the Royal Air force at age 19 and due to his previous experience with electronics and radio he was immediately selected to work in the ground breaking and top secret RADAR technology that was so vital during the conflict. His training manuals were kept and are now in the RAF museum. Throughout the war, his work was absolutely cutting edge and he traveled across the UK, Europe and after liberation India, by this time promoted to Flight Lieutenant.

In 1946 he left the RAF and returned to live with his Mum in Richmond, South London where he kept his first yacht Cathrine and embarked on his first continental cruise to Holland. By now he had met Noel Bevan to become a lifelong friend and who he would later sail with in the Fasnet race, beating the MP Ted Heath.

In 1950, after a few years dedicated to sailing and HAM radio, He started work at HJ Leak, renowned for the latest technology in amplifiers and public address systems where he met Ted and Alma Ashley who also became lifelong friends.

He returned to sailing full time in 1953, Cathrine was sold and Dad bought Monie (Virtue # 3) a true ocean going yacht designed by the famous Laurent Giles. He joined the Cruising Association to use their library for navigation information and taught himself astro navigation, he was now confidant enough to sail single-handed from the Hamble to Gibraltar. He advertised in the Times newspaper for a sailing companion for the return voyage Dick Tizzard a Cambridge professor responded and they became close friends and later business partners.

He thought he had better go back to work and in 1955 and joined Electronic Instruments as an engineer involved in a huge range of process monitoring and control from cigarette manufacture to letter sorting. Dad made a significant improvement in the design of one piece of equipment and registered a patent for a measurement pump still used in and hospitals today.

It was around this time that my Mum “breezed in” to his life at Electronic Instruments and in 1959 they went on their first date to a promenade concert to see the Vaughan Williams Sea Symphony. They were married in 1960 and with total predictability he planned a sailing holiday in Monie for the honeymoon. The weather was very bad and they arrived in The Channel Islands in a thunder storm so severe it made the papers. During his time with Electronic Instruments he traveled all over the world, but with enough time at home to start a family.

In 1961 he replied to a job advert for Griffin and George. He was attracted to Plymouth for the ease of keeping a boat and going sailing, but it was rumored, to get away from his mother in law. He was given the job and in 1962 sailed from Portsmouth to Plymouth to start work.

Following the closure of the Griffon &George factory in 1964, Dick. Tizzard and Dad took the opportunity to set up Plymouth Sound Yacht Services in Turnchaple just as sailing became increasingly popular. However, the demands of his young family by this time Mary, John and I, the need for a larger house and nearby schools made him decide to sell his beloved Monie and move to Furzehatt Road in 1966 where he would spend the next 46 years.

After 5 years of running the boat yard, he decided that his hobby was not a good occupation and he sold it as a successful business. He took a job with the Plymouth Gas Processing Plant in Oreston This gave Dad more time to spend with his family and the opportunity to have a boat again. He found Bathilda a Norwegian 18’ open motor boat in a state of disrepair in Stonehouse creek. After restoring the boat it was used for many family outings and Dad gave up weekends to serve as Plym Yacht club’s rescue boat.

With a ready-made crew, in the early 70’s Dad bought “Wandering Star” a 26' steel yacht that over the next 10 years was to cruise hundreds of miles around the Devon and Cornwall coast and be the source of many happy family holidays to the Channel Islands and Brittany. He was by now working for Plymouth Polytechnic helping students with their project work, well beyond his role of a lab technician. And, to the surprise of all of us, and the delight of my Dad, Richard was born.

In March of 1982, Dad had a heart attack and decided to retire. He kept himself busy with a huge range of projects, including designing and building plywood pram dinghies for friends and those lucky enough to get on the list. With his children moved away he replaced Wandering Star with an 18’ Plymouth Pilot, “Mimosa” and would use this boat to cruise the inland waterways of France. The peace of the canals and rural France appealed to him as did the 35 franc 3 course dinners.
John, my father, Dad, “the Old Man” was a quiet and often private person. He was very modest about all these achievements and his humility is probably the characteristic that describes him most completely and the one that I will remember him for.
Aren't we lucky?

Monday, 27 February 2012

Eulogy - rjb

My Dad was clever.
    He invented things so novel and useful that they got patented. He helped me with my studies all the way through school and university, and I still used to ring him up and ask for help when I started going to work. He built his first radio transmitters when he was a child.

My Dad was good with words.
    When I asked him how digital frequency counters worked, he said "very well" rather than explaining their principle of operation. He described catheterization as "a monstrous indignity". He was quicker and easier to ask than Google when you couldn't think of a word. When he noticed that "text" had become a verb he naturally included "Thou texteth" in the conjugation. I once heard him call somebody "a baboon" and "sir" in the same sentence. Without fail he was clear and precise in speech, he once left an answering machine message for me at a friend's house. It started "This is John Redacted with a message for Richard Redacted his son message follows:"

My Dad was practical and resourceful.
    There was almost nothing that he couldn't make or mend, from bicycles, lawn-mowers, and out-board motors, to amplifiers and oscilloscopes, from childrens' toys to furniture and boats. After my brothers had destroyed a small petrol lawn mower (which had already been scrapped) to make a powered go-kart, he turned it back into a lawn-mower, and it's still cutting the grass more than 30 years later. He made sailing and rowing dinghies in his garage. When you worked with him, you never went out to buy specialist tools or parts, everything was repaired, adapted, re-purposed, or fabricated.

My Dad understood risk.
    He once left my 10 year old brother in charge of a small lead smelter, but he never let me cycle at night without lights. He crossed the channel to France several times in an 18 foot open boat. He encouraged his children to ride motorbikes. He once sent me to the top of his house on an aluminium ladder which had a home-made 3 metre extension G-clamped to the legs. We did all kinds of exciting and adventurous things and nobody was killed or injured, there were only a handful of broken bones. Looking back I think that he understood our capabilities and trusted us. He would never put us in harm's way, but neither was he paralysed by fear for us.

My Dad was wise.
    In my life I have only had to make a handful of heart-wrenchingly, future-splittingly difficult decisions, but the ones I did with his help were easier and better. His advice was straightforward and mainly boiled down to: Don't do anything rash, weigh up the pros and cons, sleep on it, don't be dishonest.

My Dad is dead and gone forever.
    And the world is a sadder and a duller place because of it, but his values are alive. My brothers and sister are like me, and we behave as he taught us. Between us we're clever, eloquent, practical, adventurous and wise. For example I make and mend all kinds of things for all kinds of people. I'm never wasteful and will always try to mend or re-use something broken before I buy a new one - just like my dad.

Richard "will" B

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Rock Stars

I've spent a lot of time on the roads in the last couple of days, and it seems that a disproportionate number of road haulage companies are run by old rock stars. I guess that after Fleetwood Mac and after the bad trip in Berlin, Peter Green moved away from guitar playing and into temperature controlled distribution.

I always think of Peter Frampton as a guitarist, but maybe he runs a road transport business too.

I couldn't tell you who was in Sparks but seemingly they've stayed together through the move from music into road transport.

Nigel Tuffnel of Spinal Tap didn't start working on the T-Shirt stall or in a hat shop, there's now a huge fleet of vans branded "Big Green Parcel Machine" run by Tuffnels.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if I found out that Eddie Stobart used to play bass with Black Sabbath, or Norbert Dentressangle was the front man for Golden Earring.

Richard "Paul Simon makes curtains and blinds now" B

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Predestination

If a group of men are talking, and any proportion of them are around my own age, then when somebody mentions the actress Jenny Agutter, the conversation is guaranteed to follow a pre-defined route. As sure as eggs is eggs, as sure as night follows day, as sure as black follows pink, follows blue, the next 3 topics will be: "The Railway Children", "An American Werewolf in London" (which frightened us), and "Walkabout" in which she briefly appeared completely naked.

My favourite example of this was about ten years ago when I was first meeting a new girlfriend's parents. My girlfriend and her mum were at the bar gossiping and I had to try to make conversation with Disco Mike [note 1,2]. We got onto the subject of films, directors, John Landis, American Werewolf, Jenny Agutter, Railway Children, American Werewolf's sex scene, and we were just discussing seeing her naked in Walkabout when his wife and my girlfriend came back to the table. I never really got on with her mum, but her dad became my greatest ally, and a great proponent of the fated reconciliation.

I was on a men only drinking expedition on Friday when somebody mentioned Jenny Agutter, but another one of the drinkers had met her, and he took the conversation on a wholly unexpected detour through bicycle clips, wicker baskets, autographs and the nature of fame, before eventually getting back onto familiar ground with the American Werewolf sex scene and undressing in Walkabout.

[Note 1

He was married in the 70's and in his wedding photos he looks exactly like the Simpson's Disco Stu.]
[Note 2
No he didn't have glass platform shoes containing live goldfish.]

Richard "OMD is not an expression of disbelief" B

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Starter Motor

My apologies to my readers who aren't interested in motorcycle maintenance, but that is what I spent the majority of the weekend doing.

Starting my bike has been intermittent, the solenoid goes, but about half the time the starter motor doesn't turn. At the end of last week I convinced myself that the problem was with the battery. On every other Japanese bike I've worked on the battery is under the front of the saddle and the back of the fuel tank. I took the saddle and tank off and couldn't find the battery, it was hiding behind one of the side fairings. I bought and fitted a brand new battery, and the starting was just as bad as before. Plymouth Battery Centre were fantastic, they weren't expensive, they put the acid in it for me (I don't like doing that) and then took the battery back and gave me a full refund when it turned out that I didn't need it.

Over the weekend I took the starter motor out. Usually as you stand of the nearside of the bike, you're looking at the back of the starter motor, and it pulls out towards you. Not on this bike, it's nose is towards you, and you have to push it away to disengage it. There's a cover over the nose of the starter that looks like it will house the mounting bolts. It doesn't, it simply pours about a teacup of engine oil into your lap when you remove it.

Anyway, the terminals on the starter were rusty, and the innards were gummed up with dust, and having cleaned and lubricated everything, the bike seems to be starting reliably.

What have I learned?

  • Plymouth Battery Centre are fantastic
  • There's nothing wrong with my battery
  • You have to take the carburettor off before you can with withdraw the starter motor.
  • It's a 3 hour job to refit the starter motor
  • The starter motor drive runs in oil, and there's an oil seal inside the starter.
  • My bikes been off the road twice in a month, and both faults were caused by corrosion.
Richard "Polish My Commutator" B