Fry Up

 After all why not? Why shouldn't I go to bed now and leave this massive pile of washing up until the morning?

On Saturday I found myself speedrunning "Make and Eat a Cooked Breakfast". One of my friends had agreed to come climbing with me, we were to meet for breakfast at the local supermarket, and then drive to the climbing wall where he had an induction booked. When we got to the counter to order breakfast we discovered that there was a 30 minute wait for food and that would have made us miss our booking.

We were already in a supermarket, and we were close to my house. In 18 minutes I bought bacon and eggs, donned my motorcycle clothing, rode home, cooked 6 rashers of bacon, fried 2 eggs, made 2 slices of toast, and served a reasonable breakfast. The cooking was done at the same time as taking off my motorcycle clothing. I turned the stove on still wearing the helmet, the bacon went in the pan while I still had the jacket on, and I think I was still wearing boots when I sat down to eat.

Richard "My Kitchen Was Embarrassingly Untidy" B

Serial Killer

 As I've been preparing firewood for bonfire night (and my subsequent experiments with cooking on a chiminea) I wanted to use an axe. I have an axe which came from my parents' house, but it was rather blunt so I looked up how to sharpen it on Youtube. What I have found out is that a good quality axe should be just softer than a good quality file, and you can do most of the sharpening with a file. I have also had to accept that my 10" bastard file, given to me on my 30th birthday (mainly because it has "BASTARD" stamped into it) is rather worn out and needs to be replaced.

My axe is now as sharp as a razor, youtube thinks that all I'm interested in is axes and knives, and I have a new file that just says "1" on it.

Richard "can I turn the old file into a knife?" B

Wee Timorous Beastie

 When I was a child it was completely normal on November 5th to go to a friend's house, or to have friends over and stand around a large fire with an effigy on top. (it was a different time, it also seemed normal that there were unattended coin operated machines that would dispense 2 pints of paraffin into whatever container you pointed the nozzle). Children's tv at the time would tell you to check for hedgehogs in the bonfire before you lit it because they would often think that the unlit fire would make an excellent nest for the winter.

This year I had friends over and we lit the biggest fire we could manage (rather small) in a chiminea. The chiminea is quite small, and the grate doesn't fit well so it will sometimes spit out burning sticks and embers, but I did supercharge it with a hairdryer and a length of exhaust pipe.

Anyway in preparation for bonfire night I sawed the firewood that I had harvested from my hedge into suitable lengths. Under the log pile there was an excellent collection of dry leaves and twigs which I thought I would use as kindling for the fire. I scooped it all up into a bucket and discovered that it also contained a hedgehog. I put it all back where it was and I hope that I haven't scared the hedgehog away.

Richard "On Turning Her Up In Her Nest With The Plough" B