Choice of Words

 There's an old saying in computer programming that the two really hard problems are naming things and cache invalidation, and off-by-one errors.

I think I've got a pretty good vocabulary, but I was drinking with a very skilled software engineer who has a superb vocabulary and he took the liberty of filling in the holes in mine.

I was telling a story about how awkward it was taking the phone number of a single pretty woman at the climbing gym who was less than half my age. I swear that we swapped numbers so that I could add her to a whatsapp group of people that climb after work on a Monday evening, not anything... ummm...

My friend instantly filled in the word "predatory".

Richard "how about unseemly" B

Rocky

I recently saw the film Project Hail Mary at the cinema. I'll let you know what I thought of it in a minute, but we have to go on a long detour first. To my shame I got caught up in the hype of commentators and critics saying how wonderful the film was and I saw it the week it opened.

In 1995 there was an album called Jagged Little Pill that generated the same amount of critical acclaim and excitement. You couldn't turn on the radio without hearing it, and everybody was saying how wonderful it was. I distinctly remember watching some music awards programme and there was one dissenting voice who said it was a good album, but nothing special. That in a few years time nobody would be saying it was particularly important. He was right. There have been plenty of good albums by a female singer song writer with something to say, the only thing different about this one was that it had swearing and funk rock bass playing.

My review of Project Hail Mary: It's a good film, you'd probably enjoy it. It's a long way from the best sci-fi film ever made.

I think what has happened is that cinema has been pretty mediocre for a while, and sci-fi has been completely overlooked in favour of franchises and superheroes. I don't think the critics and commentators would be praising P.H.M so wildly if it had come out in the same decade as, say, The Day The Earth Stood Still, 2001 A Space Odyssey, Close Encounters, Alien, The Terminator, The Matrix, or Contact.

Richard "The Critic was Paul Gambaccini" B

Null

 There are lots of questions that seem like they would produce a simple yes or no answer, but in fact they don't.

I think I annoyed my brother a little bit by answering "yes" to "have you got a barometer?" and then, after quite a long conversation answering "no" to "have you got a serviceable barometer". However I stand by my first answer. I kept my late father's barometer for sentimental and historical reasons. While the needle does move a little bit, it's unreliable and wildly out of calibration.

If the answer to "have you still got dad's barometer" is "yes" then the answer to "have you got a barometer?" must also be "yes"

Richard "Do you still beat your wife?" B

OBD2

 I usually consider myself to be pretty good at faultfinding, but the evidence from this week doesn't back up that idea.

Pulling away or changing direction in my Fiat Panda started making a gurgling noise. My first thought was fuel, but nothing smelled of petrol, so that didn't seem likely. There must be rainwater getting in. No. Everything was about as dry/damp as it usually was. It can't have been hydraulic fluid because the clutch and brakes worked fine. There also isn't a pubble under the car. The coolant level is normal, so I was stumped. Battery Acid! The battery must be half empty and the engine bay will be corroding terribly. No, it was dusty and dry like usual.

The answer came when I tried to go rock climbing. I had left my gym bag in the back of the car and there was a half drunk bottle of water in it.

Richard "hydration" B

Relative Humidity

 How was your first track day of the year?

I took my Caterham to Pembrey on Sunday. Some of the day was excellent. The car behaved impeccably. The new suspension is very impressive. The tyres and brakes came alive in a couple of laps each time. Both my guest and I had a good session on track.

However the weather was bitterly cold, strong winds, and varying wildly between drizzle, heavy rain, and bright cold sunshine. We both got cold and wet. We weren't allowed into the cafe until 8:30 and we were kicked out at 14:00. There is no other shelter in the paddock (unless you brought it with you) and the necessity of being able to see out of my car on circuit meant that I had taken the windscreen and roof off.

We drove home wearing wet clothes in a car full of wet upholstery, weather gear, tools and equipment with the cabin heater running full blast. We weren't cold but we weren't dry either. I now smell like a wet dog and I think I might have a mild case of trench foot.

Richard "worth it" B

Ogilvy and Mather

 There was a joke quiz question in the 90s. "What does TESCO stand for?" The correct answer was "Good food, great prices and a whole lot more".

For a brief period I lived with my sister in North London. She would sometimes drag me to Ikea in Neasden, which was a hellish journey, and the shopping was always a bewildering ordeal. Since those days I've always believed that the Ikea marketing slogan is "Ikea. In Neasden nobody can hear you scream".

Today I went to B&M on purpose. For those of you that don't know: it's a low-end homewares shop. Again it might not be the official marketing slogan, but I always think it's "B&M. Prepare for disappointment"

Richard "Outdated Cultural Reference" B