Sometimes a Cigar is Just a Cigar

I recently said that I was disappointed with the effectiveness of my popcorn cannon. One of my friends suggested that the problem might be the moisture content of the kernels, and I think she might be right.

I've now got yet another project I never wanted. This time running a series of experiments with a popcorn cannon using kernels at different levels of moisture content. I do have a humidor that doesn't get much use, but the hygrometer is broken and the louvred box of damp sponge is missing. I plan to "age" the kernels at different moisture levels in the humidor then try popping them, and keeping records.

Richard "This popcorn tastes like a Romeo y Juilieta Number 3" B

Holiday Plans

I need to stop finding out that new interesting things are possible. I found out recently that a skilled blacksmith can hammer enough energy into a cold piece of mild steel that it will start a fire. As well as all the other things I want to achieve in my lifetime I now want to hammer a piece of steel hard enough and long enough to start a fire. My noodle arms and terrible fitness mean that this will be pretty much impossible.

This weekend I found out that in the 1800s there was a lead mining boom in South Dakota and a lot of Cornish were recruited for their mining experience. The important bit is that you can still buy a Cornish Pasty in South Dakota. Now I'm going to have to find the holiday allowance, money and accommodation to fly to the Dakotas just to buy a pasty.

Richard "to do list" B

My Lobster is too Buttery

 I'd like to say these are "nice problems to have" or "very middle class problems" but I fear the truth is that the problems which beset me are quite unusual. It's my birthday and there have been two disappointments.

I bought myself a popcorn cannon, and while it will support 8 bar and survive an explosive decompression, it takes forever to build pressure and it doesn't actually pop many of the kernels.

On top of that my chiffonier has a silk lined cutlery drawer, which now has a moth infestation.

Richard "I know just how you feel" B

Plagueis

 The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some would consider unnatural. I'm going to argue that one of the abilities conferred by the light side of the force is to make flight school exams easier.

If I were a fighter pilot I'd have probably learned to fly motor gliders, then a Chipmonk, then a turboprop trainer like a Tucano. Then a fast jet trainer like a Hawk, and then finally transferred to whatever type I fly, like a Typhoon.

Luke Skywalker probably learned to fly the hover car as a child and we know that he was competent in the T-16. Shortly after he arrives at the secret rebel base on Yavin IV he is flying an X-Wing by himself on a combat mission. This will be the first time he's operated outside of atmosphere, and the first time he's used an astromech droid.It will have been cut to maintain the runtime of the film, but I expect there was a training montage where Luke Skywalker completed the type conversion course from T-16 to X-Wing. I imagine scenes of him with a folder full of papers and notes and a stack of flight manuals. Him in a classroom with an instructor at a blackboard. Him sitting in the back seat of the rare training variant of the X-Wing with a large sign that says "Solo from front seat only". Him taking an exam. Him demonstrating some maneuver with a model X-Wing. Him sitting on the front of the X-Wing trainer.

All this must have been done in the time it took the rebels to decode the stolen plans and plan their assault. He clearly did very well in flight school.

Richard "always fade out of a montage" B

Recovery Drink

 A couple of weeks ago I climbed the hardest route I've ever done. It was a crack climb, so you're holding a good proportion of your weight by jamming your hand into a gap and making the hand as fat as you can. It's also overhanging at about 20°

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/mSrFJI4BQwA

Somehow this route grabbed my imagination and I spent a lot of time and effort learning to climb it. It's the achievement in my life that I've tried the hardest to accomplish. The first time I got to the top I had made both sets of knuckles red and sore and they were bleeding on the right. My right foot was bruised, I was very out of breath, and my core muscles felt like I'd been made to do sit-ups until I couldn't even move.

It was 100% worth it.

Richard "wide boyz" B

Scales

Instead of doing a weird escapology act to weigh myself underwater, I made an appointment with the sports science department of a local college and had a load of health tests and body composition analysis done. While I'm generally fit and healthy, a full 23% of me is fat, which is rather high. I have to either lower my target weight or increase my muscle.

It reminds me of when I went out with a fantastically thin girl. She lived with me for a year and a diet rich in pasties and red wine allowed her to put on a little bit of weight. She's much more polite than me. When the doctor asked he her weight she gave some impossibly low number, the doctor then asked for he "target weight" she wanted to say "fuck off" but managed to subsititute that with "I haven't got one".

Richard "full fat" B