Cure Hiccups Every Time

 For about a decade I've been telling anyone who will listen that there are two different (but very similar) bows that you can tie shoe laces into. Only one of them is secure. I don't think I'm responsible, but the knowledge is becoming a lot more widespread and there are multiple web pages and videos about it.

I will now share my family's method of curing hiccups. It seems to be little known, but more effective than most.

The "patient" is issued with a glass of water. The "doctor" gives the commands "Sip!" and "Swallow!" repeatedly in a random order. When commanded to sip the patient sucks a little bit of water from the glass into their mouth (but does not swallow) even if there is already water in their mouth. When commanded to swallow the patient swallows even if their mouth is empty. This procedure continues until the glass is empty, or it's clear that the hiccups are cured, or you're both bored. It doesn't work if the doctor becomes predictable so its best for the doctor to repeatedly toss a coin as quickly as they can and shout "Sip!" for heads and "Swallow!" for tails.

Richard "it always works" B

Bad House Guest

 I believe that one of the things that make holidays enjoyable is that you take a break from worrying about things. You're not thinking "I really must make the cable entry for the security light watertight" while you're on an Atlantic cruise.

As such I was a terrible houseguest over the Christmas period. I stayed in my friend's lodge on a holiday park in North Devon. If you're not familiar with a lodge, it's much nicer than a static caravan, but you could move it somewhere else - if you had a large crane and two lorries.

We visited his father and I gave my friend some advice about dealing with the finances of the elderly - adding massively to his New Years To Do list. I went outside in the morning and came back inside to tell him that his gutters were blocked and that the downpipe was disconnected - adding massively to our Before Lunch To Do list.

I was also partly responsible for some pretty shocking hangovers, but they seemed to appreciate the cocktails that preceded them.

Richard "ghost of chores yet to come" B