Monday 27 January 2014

Love Letter

Dear madam

It is my sad duty to inform you that you’re a miserable, incompetent sour-faced witch. How you have ended up seeming to manage two music venues is quite baffling as you have no relevant skills - except perhaps knowing where they keep the calendar.

If you were capable of managing a venue then the bands would get told basic details like what time the show starts. If you had any familiarity with working musicians you would know how to communicate with them on stage, and roughly how large their repertoire is (no we haven’t got another 3 hours of material memorised and rehearsed you stupid cow). If you had even the slightest clue about live sound engineering you would understand why your crappy club speaker system is no good as a vocal pa for a rock band, and why we were looking for the zone mixer. If you were at all suitable as a manager in a public facing profession and weren’t a horrible horrible person you might be able to open your mouth without insulting somebody.

Let me take this opportunity to suggest some activities that might like to try:
        smiling,
        eating salad,
        being polite,
        taking responsibility for your actions (rather than blaming the hard-working musicians)
        sex,
        buying proper sound equipment.

Warmest regards,

Richard "you spoiled my weekend" B

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