Giles Smith in his book "Lost In Music" is talking about Noddy Holder and Marc Bolan:
In those days it was either T. Rex or it was Slade. The whole history of pop seemed to have boiled down to this crucial axis. Actually history seemed to have boiled down to this crucial axis. The industrial unrest of the early 1970's? It was just background hum during the Slade vs. T. Rex chart wars or 1972/73. ..... After the Boy/Girl distinction Slade or T. Rex was the easiest way to divide the people I knew at school. Clearly much was encoded in this choice. Were you a team player, responding to the garrulous network that was Slade, or were you an individualist, smitten by Bolan's singularity? Did you like boys who looked like girls, or boys who looked like Victorian factory owners?
Richard "working musicians are under-paid" B
Monday, 23 August 2010
Monday, 16 August 2010
Monday, 24 May 2010
Too funny a story not to share
Posted by
rjb
I was at a birthday party on Friday night, drinking with several of my friends and some more distant aquaintances. I have always rather liked one of the girls called Booby Redacted (she looks like a little elf with a pair of watermellons up her shirt). I asked her out on a date, she readily accepted and gave me her phone number. About 20 minutes later (during which time we hadn't been talking to one another) she said that she'd changed her mind, and had me delete her phone number.
I also accidentally went out drinking hard while wearing a suit.
Richard 'The new birdman' B
I also accidentally went out drinking hard while wearing a suit.
Richard 'The new birdman' B
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
Wednesday, 13 January 2010
Date Report 7
Posted by
rjb
[Email. Richard Bredacted -> San Fransisco Judy. 13th January 2010]
I can't believe that you would casually ask me "What's new" this week. I had the weirdest weekend, and I took a woman out on what is probably the worst date in history:
I've been casually seeing a woman calledRedacted for about 3 months. We were getting on very well, going out for meals and drinks, staying at one another's house occasionally. We stayed in together on New Year's Eve. On Saturday I took Redacted to the cinema, and then for some food. We went to the bar under the restaurant for a drink. In walked my ex-girlfriend Ex (The one I brought to visit you, the one that I always think was most important). Ex came over and started chatting to both of us. There was obviously some of the old chemistry left, and it turns out that Ex is living in Plymouth and is single. Redacted and I left the bar and walked to another place. Redacted was a bit shaken at how well Ex and I had been getting on (she showed us her new heart operation scars) and I was completely freaked out that she was back in Plymouth. I haven't had anything to do with her in about 5 years, and hadn't really thought about her in most of that time.
At the second bar I finished my relationship withRedacted so that I could go back to the first bar and ask Ex on a date. Of course by the time I got back there she had already left. Thankfully we had exchanged telephone numbers, and she returned my call the next day. To say that Ex was shocked at what I had done is an understatement, but she agreed to go out for a meal with me on Monday, and we're going out again on Friday. Friday's date was her choice, and so I'm going to be taking her "heavy drinking". That used to be my favourite, but I'm completely out of practice now.
[Email. Richard Bredacted -> The Penny Pincher. 12th January 2010]
Pretty successful, all things considered.
We got on very well, chatting easily, laughing and joking, lots of reminiscing, tiny bit of flirting (I said it was the best first date ever because I was out with a beautiful woman, and even if it went nowhere, then I've still already seen her naked).
What was nice to hear is that when she looks back she always thinks that our relationship was the important one, like I do.
The problem is that she was completely cut up by what happened at the end, and she's never really got her confidence back, she blames me for the last several years of her life being pretty crappy. Moreover, since her latest operation she thinks that she looks so funny that she hasn't let a man anywhere near her.
We agreed that if anything is going to happen it's got to happen very slowly and cautiously, but we also agreed (and shook hands) to not go out with anybody else while we were finding out. I'm taking her out heavy drinking on Friday night, and we're going home separately to our own seperate houses.
I was compelled make a completely off colour joke: We had disgusting lemon liqueur after the meal. The waitress asked if we liked it and I said "not really". The waitress looked down into my empty glass and said "but you managed to force it down your throat?". Before I realized what I was doing I said to the waitress "Yes, and I'll be doing that to her later". Thankfully the waitress was so professional that she pretended not to hear me, andEx thought it was funny.
[Email. Richard Bredacted -> San Fransisco Judy. 14th January 2010]
Redacted is pretty upset and was crying on Sunday, but she's not completely in pieces about it and she does appreciate my openness and honesty. It wasn't very nice for her, but when we broke up she had heard every word that I had spoken to Ex in the last 5 years and I had done absolutely nothing behind her back. When I told her that I was finishing it so that I could go back and ask Ex on the date, I didn't even know what Ex was going to say. I'm still on speaking terms with her, and we hope to remain friends. We're still going to a concert together on Sunday.
The date withEx was mixed. We got on easily and were laughing and joking and flirting. However she was completely cut up by what happened when we finished. She blames me for destroying her self-confidence, and pretty much ruining the last 5 years. She's also had another heart operation, and she thinks that the scar looks so funny that she hasn't let a man near her since. We agreed that if anything is going to happen between us it'll be done slowly and cautiously, and that we're not going to leap into bed together. She agreed that we need to find out if it's salvageable, and we shook hands on the idea that we wouldn't go out with anybody else until we had made that decision. I'm taking her out heavy drinking on a second date on Friday. I'm already nervous about it.
[Email. Richard Bredacted -> San Fransisco Judy. 25th January 2010]
Everything is pretty much as you guessed. On the night of the heavy-drinking date we were back at my house by 10.00 and spend most of the weekend in bed. Much more excitingly we've had another couple of less physical dates, and some long talks, and we're going to try to make a go of our relationship all over again. As of Saturday we are nominally boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm really excited and blissfully infatuated.
I can't believe that you would casually ask me "What's new" this week. I had the weirdest weekend, and I took a woman out on what is probably the worst date in history:
I've been casually seeing a woman called
At the second bar I finished my relationship with
[Email. Richard B
Pretty successful, all things considered.
We got on very well, chatting easily, laughing and joking, lots of reminiscing, tiny bit of flirting (I said it was the best first date ever because I was out with a beautiful woman, and even if it went nowhere, then I've still already seen her naked).
What was nice to hear is that when she looks back she always thinks that our relationship was the important one, like I do.
The problem is that she was completely cut up by what happened at the end, and she's never really got her confidence back, she blames me for the last several years of her life being pretty crappy. Moreover, since her latest operation she thinks that she looks so funny that she hasn't let a man anywhere near her.
We agreed that if anything is going to happen it's got to happen very slowly and cautiously, but we also agreed (and shook hands) to not go out with anybody else while we were finding out. I'm taking her out heavy drinking on Friday night, and we're going home separately to our own seperate houses.
I was compelled make a completely off colour joke: We had disgusting lemon liqueur after the meal. The waitress asked if we liked it and I said "not really". The waitress looked down into my empty glass and said "but you managed to force it down your throat?". Before I realized what I was doing I said to the waitress "Yes, and I'll be doing that to her later". Thankfully the waitress was so professional that she pretended not to hear me, and
[Email. Richard B
The date with
[Email. Richard B
Everything is pretty much as you guessed. On the night of the heavy-drinking date we were back at my house by 10.00 and spend most of the weekend in bed. Much more excitingly we've had another couple of less physical dates, and some long talks, and we're going to try to make a go of our relationship all over again. As of Saturday we are nominally boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm really excited and blissfully infatuated.
Thursday, 31 December 2009
2009 lottery emails omnibus
Posted by
rjb
Each week I send an email to members of the lottery syndicate. I sometimes include a joke or observation, and I usually assign myself a joke middle name. These are my names from 2009:
Mon 05/01/2009
Richard "Get back to work" B
Mon 12/01/2009
Richard "My turn to win next" B
Mon 19/01/2009
A week when I had a slight cough
Richard "pleurisy" B
Mon 26/01/2009
Richard "monotony" B
Mon 02/02/2009
Richard "frosty the snowman" B
Mon 09/02/2009
Richard "still waiting" B
Mon 16/02/2009
Richard "February 14th - invariably a disappointment" B
Mon 23/02/2009
Richard "We have a winner" B
Mon 02/03/2009
The week after Date Report 4 was written
Richard "crash-and-burn" B
Mon 09/03/2009
One of the Barbie Doll's milestone birthdays
Richard "15.3 years younger than barbie" B
Mon 16/03/2009
Richard "Show me the cakes" B
Tue 17/03/2009
Richard "Life's a Lottery" B
Mon 23/03/2009
Richard "We'll win next week" B
Mon 30/03/2009
A week when one of our members should have won, but wasn't paid up
Richard "you know the rules" B
Mon 06/04/2009
The week I was invited to join a Grand National sweepstake
Richard "500 to 1" B
Tue 14/04/2009
Richard "Post Bank-Holiday Stress Disorder" B
Mon 20/04/2009
Richard "Come and see me play on Friday" B
Mon 27/04/2009
Richard "only just watched 'The Godfather' for the first time" B
Tue 05/05/2009
After having watched 'The Godfather II'
Richard "3 hours 20 is too long for a feature film" B
Tue 12/05/2009
Richard "long weekend" B
Mon 18/05/2009
After the first time I was ever invited to an after-show party. It was after a show that I had played.
Richard "after-show party" B
Tue 26/05/2009
Richard "long weekend" B
Mon 01/06/2009
Richard "gig on friday" B
Mon 08/06/2009
Richard "weekend rock-star" B
Mon 15/06/2009
Richard "back to work" B
Mon 22/06/2009
Richard "The raffle organiser wouldn't give me her phone number, but I did win a cuddly polar bear" B
Mon 29/06/2009
The week when I was first introduced to fantastic mock hair-metal band "Steel Panther"
Richard "Death To All But Metal" B
Mon 06/07/2009
Richard "I've got a steam powered bath toy" B
Mon 13/07/2009
Richard "Should have invited new members last week" B
Mon 20/07/2009
Richard "post viral fatigue" B
Wed 22/07/2009
Richard "lunchtime consitutional" B
Mon 27/07/2009
Richard "day off" B
Mon 10/08/2009
Richard "Ladbrokes" B
Mon 17/08/2009
Richard "Up to date with my hoovering, washing-up, and ironing" B
Mon 24/08/2009
A week when I wasn't too happy with the band's bass player
Richard "Either learn the songs OR print out the music BEFORE the rehearsal" B
Wed 16/09/2009
A week when the girl singer out of the band took charge of my text flirting with the girl from the North.
Richard "playing Christian to a lesbian Cyrano de Bergerac" B
28/09/2009
After a week in Corfu at an all inclusive destination resort
Richard "a week behind" B
Mon 28/09/2009
After a week in Corfu at an all inclusive destination resort
Richard "Nobody leaves the resort" B
Mon 05/10/2009
Richard "I slow-danced with the woman of my dreams at a wedding. Sadly she was the bride and I wasn't the groom" B
Mon 12/10/2009
Richard "Making a meal for a single woman tonight" B
Mon 19/10/2009
The week when ex rock star Troy Tate tought me to play a wierd heavy blues version of "Come Together"
Richard "He got walrus gumboot" B
Tue 27/10/2009
Richard "Got to buy a birthday present for a woman I hardly know" B
Mon 09/11/2009
Richard "I'm in the money" B
Tue 10/11/2009
Richard "Grommet" B
Mon 16/11/2009
Richard "xkcd.com/355" B
Mon 23/11/2009
Richard "MacGyver" B **
** To understand the relevance of my middle name this week you have to know that I effected a temporary but workable repair to the return spring of a drummer's broken bass drum pedal using the elastic of a pair of talismanic knickers which had previously been thrown at him while he played.
Mon 30/11/2009
I took my new girlfriend to a show I played at the Cherry Tree, and there was an unseasonable downpoor on the way home.
Richard "sex, floods, and rock'n'roll" B
Tue 08/12/2009
I ordered a new Citroen Nemo combo van
Richard "captain nemo-multispace" B
Tue 08/12/2009
Richard "Lottery" B
Tue 15/12/2009
Richard "decorations up" B
Tue 29/12/2009
Richard "gin and rosehip syrup" B
Mon 05/01/2009
Richard "Get back to work" B
Mon 12/01/2009
Richard "My turn to win next" B
Mon 19/01/2009
A week when I had a slight cough
Richard "pleurisy" B
Mon 26/01/2009
Richard "monotony" B
Mon 02/02/2009
Richard "frosty the snowman" B
Mon 09/02/2009
Richard "still waiting" B
Mon 16/02/2009
Richard "February 14th - invariably a disappointment" B
Mon 23/02/2009
Richard "We have a winner" B
Mon 02/03/2009
The week after Date Report 4 was written
Richard "crash-and-burn" B
Mon 09/03/2009
One of the Barbie Doll's milestone birthdays
Richard "15.3 years younger than barbie" B
Mon 16/03/2009
Richard "Show me the cakes" B
Tue 17/03/2009
Richard "Life's a Lottery" B
Mon 23/03/2009
Richard "We'll win next week" B
Mon 30/03/2009
A week when one of our members should have won, but wasn't paid up
Richard "you know the rules" B
Mon 06/04/2009
The week I was invited to join a Grand National sweepstake
Richard "500 to 1" B
Tue 14/04/2009
Richard "Post Bank-Holiday Stress Disorder" B
Mon 20/04/2009
Richard "Come and see me play on Friday" B
Mon 27/04/2009
Richard "only just watched 'The Godfather' for the first time" B
Tue 05/05/2009
After having watched 'The Godfather II'
Richard "3 hours 20 is too long for a feature film" B
Tue 12/05/2009
Richard "long weekend" B
Mon 18/05/2009
After the first time I was ever invited to an after-show party. It was after a show that I had played.
Richard "after-show party" B
Tue 26/05/2009
Richard "long weekend" B
Mon 01/06/2009
Richard "gig on friday" B
Mon 08/06/2009
Richard "weekend rock-star" B
Mon 15/06/2009
Richard "back to work" B
Mon 22/06/2009
Richard "The raffle organiser wouldn't give me her phone number, but I did win a cuddly polar bear" B
Mon 29/06/2009
The week when I was first introduced to fantastic mock hair-metal band "Steel Panther"
Richard "Death To All But Metal" B
Mon 06/07/2009
Richard "I've got a steam powered bath toy" B
Mon 13/07/2009
Richard "Should have invited new members last week" B
Mon 20/07/2009
Richard "post viral fatigue" B
Wed 22/07/2009
Richard "lunchtime consitutional" B
Mon 27/07/2009
Richard "day off" B
Mon 10/08/2009
Richard "Ladbrokes" B
Mon 17/08/2009
Richard "Up to date with my hoovering, washing-up, and ironing" B
Mon 24/08/2009
A week when I wasn't too happy with the band's bass player
Richard "Either learn the songs OR print out the music BEFORE the rehearsal" B
Wed 16/09/2009
A week when the girl singer out of the band took charge of my text flirting with the girl from the North.
Richard "playing Christian to a lesbian Cyrano de Bergerac" B
28/09/2009
After a week in Corfu at an all inclusive destination resort
Richard "a week behind" B
Mon 28/09/2009
After a week in Corfu at an all inclusive destination resort
Richard "Nobody leaves the resort" B
Mon 05/10/2009
Richard "I slow-danced with the woman of my dreams at a wedding. Sadly she was the bride and I wasn't the groom" B
Mon 12/10/2009
Richard "Making a meal for a single woman tonight" B
Mon 19/10/2009
The week when ex rock star Troy Tate tought me to play a wierd heavy blues version of "Come Together"
Richard "He got walrus gumboot" B
Tue 27/10/2009
Richard "Got to buy a birthday present for a woman I hardly know" B
Mon 09/11/2009
Richard "I'm in the money" B
Tue 10/11/2009
Richard "Grommet" B
Mon 16/11/2009
Richard "xkcd.com/355" B
Mon 23/11/2009
Richard "MacGyver" B **
** To understand the relevance of my middle name this week you have to know that I effected a temporary but workable repair to the return spring of a drummer's broken bass drum pedal using the elastic of a pair of talismanic knickers which had previously been thrown at him while he played.
Mon 30/11/2009
I took my new girlfriend to a show I played at the Cherry Tree, and there was an unseasonable downpoor on the way home.
Richard "sex, floods, and rock'n'roll" B
Tue 08/12/2009
I ordered a new Citroen Nemo combo van
Richard "captain nemo-multispace" B
Tue 08/12/2009
Richard "Lottery" B
Tue 15/12/2009
Richard "decorations up" B
Tue 29/12/2009
Richard "gin and rosehip syrup" B
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