12 year dry spell

In the late 90s an article by Chris Morris (I think) mentioned the only 2 acceptable names for tribute bands: "The Pretend Pretenders" and "Sham Sham 69". Within a few weeks my friends and I had also come up with "The Mock Mock Turtles", and since then we haven't been able to think of another one. In fact I cross-referenced a thesaurus with a Guinness book of British Hit Singles and convinced myself that there wasn't another one. This weekend, to my amazement and deligh, my friend Keith came up with "The Vanessa Paradis Parody". I urge you not to spend the next ten or fifteen years trying to think of names of bands that contain synonyms for counterfeit.

OK very well done. "The Charlatan Charlatans"

Richard "Never drinking again" B

Public entertainment is impossible

At the weekend my band was playing at the Cherry Tree. I played guitar for over 2 hours and made only a couple of mistakes. I played the Jeff Beck guitar part in "Superstition" without error, and more impressively I played the John Squire part from "Love is the Law" without a mistake while a drunken audience member played tambourine loudly out of time. However what I got a round of applause (and several congratulations) for, was tripping over a loudspeaker and landing flat on my face before the show even started.

Richard "no sex, no drugs, some rock'n'roll" B

Most unlikely experience from my holiday

I received a glancing blow to the side of the head from a low flying vulture at a falconry display.

I also had to buy public liability insurance to be able to play at a wedding.

Richard "public liability" B

Worst commute this year

As well as getting stuck behind a dithering old person, and a van that would barely fit through the country lanes, a little bit of my dinner escaped in my bag and made its way into one of my shoes (also in my bag).

Richard "Tupperware failure" B

Best Thing I've Read In Ages

Giles Smith in his book "Lost In Music" is talking about Noddy Holder and Marc Bolan:

In those days it was either T. Rex or it was Slade. The whole history of pop seemed to have boiled down to this crucial axis. Actually history seemed to have boiled down to this crucial axis. The industrial unrest of the early 1970's? It was just background hum during the Slade vs. T. Rex chart wars or 1972/73. ..... After the Boy/Girl distinction Slade or T. Rex was the easiest way to divide the people I knew at school. Clearly much was encoded in this choice. Were you a team player, responding to the garrulous network that was Slade, or were you an individualist, smitten by Bolan's singularity? Did you like boys who looked like girls, or boys who looked like Victorian factory owners?

Richard "working musicians are under-paid" B

Joke

What's the temperature in Motown?

3 degrees, maybe 4, tops.

Richard "guiro" B