Tuesday 8 January 2013


I was reminded of a funny phone conversation from about a decade ago when I was in a very long distance relationship. Over the years I've tried to maintain relationships with women over various distances:

  • Living in the same house: Workable, but too close for comfort.
  • Chaddlewood to Saltash: Excellent
  • Chaddlewood to Southampton: Ideal
  • Chaddlewood to Guildford: Slightly too far
  • Chaddlewood to San Francisco: Too far.
The woman from San Francisco once rang me when I was in the bath. The ringing was very insistent and I eventually got out of the bath and went downstairs (undressed and dripping) to see who was on the phone. I made her wait while I quickly dried myself and put on pyjamas. I then said "That's better, I'm not wet and naked anymore" and without a beat of hesitation she said "That's the worst beginning to phone sex that I've ever heard". In fact she was ringing for help with a computer programming problem.

Richard "helpline" B

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