Relationships

I remember in the early days when I was happy and excited. We'd take long journeys just to spend more time together, and I wanted to show off to everybody. Over the years the excitement faded to co-operative indifference, but recently my motorbike does nothing but infuriate me.

We're like a couple who now hate each other but have too expensive a mortgage and too many children to be able to split up. This weekend I bought an endoscope and spent about 18 hours working on the bike. I changed the fuel pump, did a V-belt service, and rebuilt the clutch for the second time in as many months.

I know exactly what I'd like to chop it in for (a 750cc super-scooter with a 6 speed dual-clutch semi-automatic sequential gearbox) but it's expensive and my current bike is worthless. A load of the plastic fairings were broken when I pushed it off its stand, more were broken when I ran over a deer. The clutch bearings, the clutch springs and the plate separators are all worn out and that is glaringly obvious if you take it for a test ride.

This is how much work you have to do to get the fuel pump out of a TMAX.

The clutch is completely shot after 26,000m, it demands a V-belt that costs over £100 every 12,000m, engine oil every 4,000m and a complete top end engine rebuild every 24,000m. Would not buy again.

Richard "divorce" B