Tuesday 29 November 2016

Re-living the dream

This weekend I was overcome by petty jealousy. When I was younger I used to play electric guitar well, and I used to perform in a band at pubs, weddings and parties. When we were good it was fantastic fun and I still miss it. It sounds implausible when you look at me, but I swear I also used to go out with the sexiest woman on the entire South West peninsular.

On Friday I was in a pub and there was a covers band playing all the songs that we used to play and having the time of their lives. Moreover the chap who fronted the band is the one that my old girlfriend went out with as soon as she'd finished with me. And he's younger than me. And better looking. And he still has a full head of hair. Damn him!

I would like to say that the band was terrible but they weren't, they were moderately good. As is traditional in pub covers bands they were too loud and had pathetic dynamics. They also had atrocious tempo. I practice with a metronome every morning and I know just how shonky my timekeeping is but theirs was embarrassing. At one point I made a vicious, technical and silent heckle. I caught the drummer's eye, picked up an imaginary conductors baton and beat out a steady 4:4 while he wandered miles above and below it.

Richard "calm down, it's all in the past" B

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