Tuesday 28 July 2015

Out damned spot

file under: Embarrassing courtship situations

A couple of weeks ago I went to a restaurant for a birthday party. I talked to a very handsome woman whom I'd never met before (she was such a screaming janner that in a short conversation about parking meters she used the phrases "geddon" and "proper job" without a hint of irony). Emboldened by rough red wine I asked her if she had a boyfriend and she said she was "pretty much seeing someone". Very shortly after I happened to see myself in a mirror and discovered that I had a huge and disgusting spot above my right eye. It was like a horizontal Vesuvius gouting bloody pus lava into my eyebrow.

I can't help but wonder whether, if my skin had been clear and healthy she might have been "pretty much single".

Richard "sebaceous cyst" B

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