Tuesday 1 October 2013


This weekend I went to a wedding reception and I made a joke that I’m very proud of. My friend asked his wife “Are you laughing at me?” and I said “Worst Taxi Driver impression ever”.

I also got talking to a very nice single girl and took her phone number. She drunkenly, and very directly asked me whether I was single, whether I was gay, whether I’d been married, whether I had kids, and whether I wanted children (yes; no I just like these cigarettes; no; no; and it would depend on the woman). After that barrage I could have asked her anything, I asked if she sang or played an instrument. Looking back it’s a rubbish question, it makes me sound shallow and like I’m only interested in one thing. At least I didn’t ask the question that was actually playing on my mind. “You can’t really have been a trampolinist with those big boobs can you?”

Richard “biological clock” B


  1. Just think I figured out the joke; it's one of those ironic ones that relies on you knowing that it was actually Joe Pesci in Goodfellas who said that, rather than De Niro in Taxi Driver. Sorry Of course on the other hand, you may just have mixed the two up. And it's that dichotomy that makes it funny. See http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03bpv42.

    And while I'm commenting, your blog is really funny because you say lots of things that would seem to make it less likely that any woman who could put you and your blog together would want to date you. Do you actually filter anything out?

    1. The joke was supposed to be that the line in Taxi Driver was "Are you looking at me?" where my friend said "Are you laughing at me?" which makes it a terrible impression of Robert DeNiro.

      I filter loads of stuff out of the blog. I have got some really funny stories that are either too humiliating, or too personal to share.