Tuesday 17 January 2012

Idiot Tax

Back when I was at college, my good friend David introduced me to the concept of "idiot tax". The government employs a huge army of spies, pickpockets, thieves, and unscrupulous businessmen, and they spend their time separating you from your money. Have you every come back from a night out with £20 or £30 less in your pocket than you thought you should have had? It's very easy to think that you must have spend more than you remember, but in fact you've been paying your idiot-tax. The bar staff short-changed you, the cab driver picked your pocket and the money goes straight to the Inland Revenue. If you've every bought something and then found it for sale cheaper, your merchant was a tax collector who paid the cheaper price, and sent the difference to the Inland Revenue. It's an excellent system because everbody feels too stupid to query their tax bill.

My transport related idiot-tax liability has become unsupportable. As I said last week I spent £50 on brake calliper pistons that I should never have damaged (by now they will have been stolen, refurbished, and sold on as new by the tax system). As soon as I had my motorbike working I needed to go out in my car and I promptly smashed the offside wing mirror off against an oncoming Inland Revenue car. The mirror is electrically heated and adjusted, so the parts are expensive. This morning my bike wouldn't start, I don't know what the fault is yet, but I bet there's another massive idiot-tax bill hidden in the repair costs.

Richard "Only stop the engine at the top of a hill" B

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