Tuesday 28 February 2017

Notes and Queries

If my blog had a readership larger than my colleagues and friends, then this would all have happened in the comments, but it doesn't so it didn't:

After my story about turning the ignition off in my car at 80mph I found out that one of my readers knows somebody who did something similar with a much worse outcome. He was driving along and had an itchy earhole. He pulled the car key out to scratch with, the steering lock clicked on and drive him off the road and into a field.

After my story about getting stuck in my coat I heard a story from one of my good-looking female readers (so good looking in fact that my old band mates used to prefix her name with "hot-"). She was at home, alone, on a hot day, trying on a wetsuit and got stuck inside it. Apparently the trade-off between dying of heat exhaustion and the humiliation of going round to the neighbours' house and asking for help was on an absolute knife-edge.

It's one of these things that you hear about, but that always happen to other people (like winning the lottery or being murdered). I've literally never had a sexy woman arrive on my doorstep and demand to be wrestled out of constrictive clothing.

Richard "bottom half of the internet" B

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