Tuesday 5 May 2015


I've just come back from the states, and while I may be getting better at the language, I'm still struggling to understand them and to make myself understood. While fashioning a rudimentary dessert above an open fire they seemed to be talking about "gram crackers". I assumed that these were a biscuit made from gram-flour. No. There is an entire class of biscuit called "Grahams".

And Americans can't pronounce the name Graham.

While there is weak and insipid beer available through much of the USA, in the pacific northwest it is mostly delicious and really strong. The weakest IPA I could find was 6%. After I'd learned that it was easy to buy a full sized pint by asking for a "twenty" I kept accidentally drinking too much and either making a fool of myself or feeling unwell. One afternoon I thought that the remedy was to order a shandy. Unfortunately that drink is unknown in the states. I explained that it was half beer and half lemonade. Sadly they made lemonade from scratch with lemon juice and zest, soda water, and sugar. The resulting drink was uniquely unpleasant, the head in particular was bright yellow and covered with zest. The waitress asked me how it was, and I hope that the correct translation of "absolutely disgusting" is "not quite what I was hoping for".

Richard "a pint of water weighs a pound and a quarter" B


  1. Simple mistake. In general things are referred to by their brand name not their generic description. What you actually needed was "Seven" short for 7-up. For example if you would like whiskey and lemonade you ask for "Crown and Seven"

  2. Doesn't mean any self-respecting Pacific Northwesterner won't still look at you funny when you suggest watering down their craft brew with 7-up. Just order a glass of water on the side. We even have ice here!

    1. Or in fact any "screw in a canoe" lite beer - (f-ing close to water)