Wednesday, 29 April 2015

Speaking in code

I used to play in a function band. We were all good, but I particularly rated our girl singer. When the band acrimoniously split up I asked her to consider me as a guitar player in whatever her next band turned out to be. "I'm never singing in another fucking band after this" she said and I thought that she meant she would never be singing in another (fucking) band after this (one). What she actually meant was "I'm pissed off and tired and I want to go home". It's easy to confuse those two. She was actually a bit annoyed when I started putting another band together and she wasn't the first singer that I approached.

Last weekend it was my girlfriend's birthday. She said that after the food she wanted to go to a dive bar for karaoke. She found somewhere that was only a short bus ride away, and that had karaoke. It was loud, grubby and dingy. The floors were sticky, the patrons were unwelcoming and exceptionally drunk, and there was a genuine air of menace and impending violence. I felt uniquely out of place because I can't sing, or fight, and I was wearing a three piece suit and talking with a ridiculous foreign accent.

Strangely she was disappointed with the place. Apparently, when she'd said "dive bar" she meant "not unwelcomingly-high-class".

Richard "The Slaughtered Lamb" B

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