Tuesday 8 August 2017


My mother is very bright and pleasantly crackers.

In the 90s there was a tv. quiz show called "15 to 1". She applied to appear on it because she saw an advert that offered free travel and accommodation (near some of her friends). She was accepted, appeared on the programme, and answered almost all of the questions correctly. She didn't win because she had never bothered to watch the programme and see how the game was played.

Later, because she has a big garden and was in need of a hobby, she signed up for a horticulture course at a garden centre. She was expecting elderly ladies drinking tea and learning how to grow their favourite flowers. Unfortunately it was a professional qualification and every other student ran or worked at a commercial garden or nursery. She didn't like to admit she was on the wrong course so she knuckled down, studied, read, revised and was awarded a professional horticulture qualification that she has never used.

She recently hired a tree surgeon and was laughing at his business card – coming round here, showing off your certification from the Royal Horticulture Society. You don't impress me. We've all got one of those. I got one by accident .

Richard "Apple that didn't fall that far from the tree" B

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