Tuesday 2 April 2013


On bank holiday Monday I had a road trip to Redruth where I did sound engineering work for an Oasis tribute band. When I got home I had to attend to various bits of band administration by text. I found this exchange funny (and slightly racist):

ME: blah blah blah band admin blah blah blah. Ps I think I've got a date in helston. RJB
GIRL SINGER: U are supposed to b sorting out the sound not chatting girls with webbed feet up
ME: Seemingly I can do both at the same time - just not very well. RJB
GIRL SINGER: Does she have a tail aswell
ME: Piss off, she's a very good looking woman. Works as a fitness instructor. Probably out of my league once she's sober. RJB

[the next day, after I'd been sent a detailed and slightly disturbing pdf about human tails]
GIRL SINGER: Check ur work email
ME: I have. You're a bitch. I replied and said I hope I get the chance to check for a tail.
GIRL SINGER: U know im only teasing u. But seriously do check as she is cornish lol
GIRL SINGER: Well wen u meet up for gods sake dont mention ur ex girlfriends
ME: Or you apparently. Being matey with a good looking booby blonde woman who can sing didn't do me any favours with Wxxxx the second time round. RJB
GIRL SINGER: Any woman worth their salt shouldn't be threatened by an elderly woman whos ready for the scrap heap. Also dont mention ur taking Sxxxx as ur +1 to a weddin next month either
ME: Maybe I'll have to take webbed feet and tail INSTEAD of Sxxxx! Don't worry about that Jxxxx was very clear that I wasn't allowed a girlfriend until after he was married. RJB

Richard "fingers crossed" B

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