Wednesday 18 April 2012

No, she went of her own accord

There is a particular type of joke that my brother (and by association I) collect. The archetype is:

  • "My wife went to the Caribbean" "Jamaica?" "No, she went of her own accord." 
Over the years we have heard or come up with:

  • "My wife hurt her foot climbing a volcano" "Krakatoa?" "No she twisted her ankle"
  • "I got a new dog" "Whippet?" "No I bought it"
  • "I got a job in a bowling alley" "ten pin?" "No it's full time"
  • "I got one of those heavy German cakes for Christmas" "Stollen?" "No I think it was paid for."
A couple of weeks ago when we were at the Royal Academy of music hearing his daughter's band compete he came up with a brand new example:
  • "I spent a fortune on a piano" "Was it a grand?" "No it's an upright"
My favourite subversion of the genre is still:
  • "My wife went to the Bahamas" "Jamaica?" "No, the Bahamas, like I said."

Richard "cannon and ball" B


  1. An oronym (a type of homophone, also called a continunym or a slice-o-nym) is a pair of phrases which share a similar relationship as thehomophonic, in that they differ in meaning and spelling, yet share a similar pronunciation. Continunyms share a similar chain of consonant and vowel sounds, however they are composed of words that are cut at different points in the phonetic strings, hence the name slice-o-nym. Examples include "an ice cream" and "a nice cream"; "mint spy" and "mince pie"; "ice cream" and "I scream"; "what an eyesore" and "what a nice whore"; "stuffy nose" and "stuff he knows"

  2. So you're saying it's a homophone?

    Not at all, I have nothing against the gays.