Wednesday 26 May 2021

Take a Compliment

 This story takes place in the before times, when I would commute to an office and I would talk to my colleagues face to face.

One of my colleagues hates mawkish sentimentality and enforced jollity as much as I do. They found out that this poster of compliments was being displayed in the girls' toilets.

We took it upon ourselves to remake the poster with backhanded compliments and had the doctored version hung in place of the original. These were the "compliments" on our version:

"You're brave to wear that"
"It's the thought that counts"
"I can't tell you how great you are"
"I'm surprised you did so well"
"You look really pretty with makeup"
"You're trying your best"
"You look great for your age"
"You're impossible to underestimate"
"You make people laugh"

The part of the story where I'm both ashamed of my deceit and proud of my quick thinking an deceit was a few days later when one of the women I work with showed me the doctored poster and asked me, quite harshly, if I had anything to do with it. I looked at it closely, just about kept a straight face and said "That's like hand drawn lettering. I'd be looking for someone with Photoshop skills and someone that can go in the girls' toilet" I then stared pointedly out of my office towards the woman who runs all our graphic design projects. I don't know if she got into trouble. Sorry Sarah.

Richard "not quite a liar" B

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