Tuesday 2 February 2016


File under: impotent whining

I have heard that the English are the best queuers in the world. It might be true, we have all learned from a young age how to form a completely virtual queue while sitting in random seats at the barber's and we know how to form an orderly queue of one when we are the first person at the bus stop. It all goes to hell though at the petrol station. Is this one queue for the whole forecourt? Are these separate queues for each aisle of pumps? Each side of each aisle? Where does it diverge?

At the weekend I found myself doing an Austin Powers style 97 point turn to get out of one queue and use one of several empty pumps. Horror of horrors – it almost looked like I was jumping the queue! I think perhaps the problem was the number of people who refuse to do a reach-around at the petrol station and sit and wait until they can put their starboard side to a pump.

"I bet you're the kind of guy who would fill a person's car and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give it a reach-around. I'll be watching you."

Richard "Full Metal Jacket" B


  1. This begs a very important question: What percentage of cars have their filler caps on the drivers side versus the passenger side? And are there the equal percentage of pumps at the petrol station? I sense a conspiracy of some type

  2. Too many mentions of "reach around" me thinks