Tuesday 30 June 2015

cackling hags club

file under: Embarrassing social situations

I like women and I dislike sweeping generalisations about large segments of the population, but even so I find that groups of women have a tendency to cackle and to be loud and shrill.

The place where I work has many internal fire doors that are closed automatically by strong springs. We're not allowed to wedge them open, but the doors being closed is so annoying that some of the doors have been fitted with a device that defeats the closer. The door-close-defeat fails safe so the door is allowed to close if it runs out of batteries, or it hasn't got a good grip on the floor. They also let the door close if they hear the sound of a fire alarm.

Last week I was in the kitchen at work talking to a couple of the women (my nemesis and one of her minions), we got into a conversation about whether it is ever possible to look stylish while smoking in the bath. Their laughter was so loud and piercing that the fire door mistook it for the fire alarm and quietly swung closed. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Richard "shhh" B

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