Nicknames

This week I have been socialising with one of my old school friends who is visiting from Seattle. We talked a lot about our school days and I was amazed by the cruelty and imagination of some of the nicknames that the children were given:

• Pasty
  My friend, who had a face a bit like a pasty.
• The Sherrif
  A ginger boy who used to strut around with an amazing sense of entitlement.
• Leatherface
  A girl who didn’t have excellent skin.
• Splinterprick
  A boy whose surname was Woodcock.
• Ghee
  A boy with a distinctive laugh.
• Flaky-bake
  A girl with mild eczema.
• Lead-Head
  A boy who once had a pencil thrown at him.
• Bottlebank
  A girl alledged to have done something unseemly with a beer bottle.
• Point
  A boy with a pointy head.
• Wan
  A boy called Ivan whose name was once written clumsily in capital letters.
• Pro-Wan
  A boy called Wan who always had the best of everything.
• Pivot-Pro-Wan
  A boy called Pro-Wan with an unconventional basketball technique.
• WPC-Pivot-Pro-Wan
  A boy called Pivot-Pro-Wan who wanted to be a policeman.
• Ladies-Love-WPC-Pivot-Pro-Wan
  A boy called WPC-Pivot-Pro-Wan who French kissed a girl at a party.

Richard "You've got a point there Andy" B